If you were to place yourself on a continuum when someone mentions Christmas, where would you be? At the end that reflects delight, joy, peace, surrounded by warmth and tranquillity, tempered with enthusiasm and excitement. Or at the Grinchy end where every carol, twinkly light and roast dinner makes your heart race, your palms sweat and you the person you don’t want to be? If it is the former – stop reading. This doesn’t apply to you. If though you are in the ‘its just about OK to not OK spectrum’ then this read is for you. Christmas with a brain tumour can be tough, here are some tips for coping this Christmas.
You don’t stop living with a brain tumour just because its Christmas; trying to park this for the holiday season will only bring added stress. It can also highlight differences. You may be dependent on friends and family for transport. But this feels like you are limiting their pleasure too; not only are you held hostage to fitting in with other people’s timings, you may feel guilty as they won’t be able have a drink. Maybe you haven’t been able to get out to choose presents for special people and have had to depend on others or online shopping. Maybe you wanted to make gifts this year but have been frustrated at not being able to find the time or the energy. For some too there will be a sense of loss, of time running out – it is important to acknowledge this.
Every year we pull together some thoughts about how to survive Christmas. We have written in the past about connecting with the community, making plans and sticking to them, being comfortable in your own skin and saying when enough is enough. But it would be lovely to thrive at Christmas. So this year – do one thing.
If you try to do it all, you will fail. And you will feel bad. You will crash mentally, physically and emotionally. So do less, but do it better. This is how:
- How do you want to feel on December 31st? What is the one thing that you need to do to be in this space? It might be that you want to spend quality time with dear friends and family. This is your one thing. This trumps everything. Or you might want to begin 2023 feeling rested, energised, with clarity about your goals. What is the one thing you need to do to bring you to this place?
- Don’t take on anything extra unless it fuels your one thing. So that drinks party held by the neighbour five doors down whom you don’t know? That’s a no. Invite a friend around instead, watch a film together, share a pizza.
How does it feel now to know you only have one thing to do this Christmas? Nobody is going to judge you for it; if anything they may feel a little envious that you have let go of doing it all.
Do one thing. And thrive this Christmas.
Our doors are open and the lights are on this Christmas. If you want to chat then call us 01983 292405 or email hello@brainstrust.org.uk
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